This week the Guardian reported that the anxiety drug pregabalin is to be reclassified as a Class C drug. This means it will be considered a controlled substance and no longer available on repeat prescription.
This comes as no surprise to a state-sponsored pregabalin addict like myself.
I have been prescribed pregabalin continuously for over nine years, since the drug was relatively new, and I know the damage it can cause.
I was originally prescribed the drug for anxiety and found it to be as effective as Valium, but my tolerance to the drug increased and after a slipped disc left me with nerve pain I was placed on the maximum daily dose. After that I found it impossible to quit.
It took me some time to realise that, rather than helping, pregabalin was becoming part of the problem. I realised how heavily addicted I was to the drug when I realised that my anxiety symptoms were not anxiety at all, but in fact withdrawals because I was due my next dose. On the rare occasions I found myself without the drug I experienced withdrawal symptoms many times more horrific than withdrawal from benzodiazapines and opiates – I can only describe the level of terror like being buried alive. I have broken down in my pharmacy screaming because the GP had made an error and left me without the drug. The humiliation of clinging to the pharmacy counter in tears, explaining that you can’t ‘call back later in the day after work’ because you can’t go to work, because you cannot function without the drug.
I have spoken to my psychiatrists many times to request help with withdrawing from pregabalin but in the early years they were unwilling to accept that it was as addictive as I told them. I found myself researching ‘pregabalin addiction’ and finding little in the way of research papers, but reams of anecdotal evidence. Yet again, it seems, a licence was granted for a drug without studies as to the long-term effects.
My struggle continued, and the NHS started to doubt me less when I explained my addiction. Recently, a nurse who works in substance misuse told me pregabalin addiction is now recognised as a problem, not just as a prescribed substance but recreationally. Pregabalin has become a currency in prisons and was last year linked to 111 deaths.
I needed it, yet hated the hold it had over me. When I spoke to my doctors about reduction there was the ever-present argument not to change my drugs and risk upsetting my mental state. Furthermore, the NICE guidelines for quitting the drug suggested it should be tapered over a week, when I knew such a rapid reduction would be impossible unless they locked me up as an inpatient – which I even put forward as an option.
I eventually managed, with the help of a supportive psychiatric team, to reduce my dose over the course of six months, but even by doing this in small increments I suffered suicidal impulses – and actually tried to commit suicide one one occasion. In the end my psychiatric nurse told me to stop trying it as it was causing too much risk.
I’ve also taken massive overdoses of pregabalin mixed with my many other medications to attempt suicide. On being admitted to hospital, the psychiatrist asked how I was feeling. I replied “I feel fine – I’ve just taken a fuckton of drugs”. Sitting in a windowless room in A&E having tried to end my life I literally felt like I was floating on a lovely cloud. I can understand why pregabalin is used recreationally.
Although I know this new classification will make my life hell obtaining my regular prescriptions, having seen the damage it can do I’m in favour of greater regulation. The question I would really like answered, is how the hell do drugs like this get licensed in the first place without long term trials.
Effectively, I have been an unpaid guinea pig for the manufacturer Pfizer so they can line their pockets. The drugs industry has profited from my pain – and it’s about time they were made accountable.